All About Me Part 4

My most prized possessions might seem silly to some. At the top of the list are my old works from about sixth grade which include stories, fanfiction, and drawings. Some of my work was very in depth I think for my age and just doing it for fun. The next one is going to be really weird, but my Beast Wars Transformers. I watched the show religiously and my best friend and I always played with them. They went with me everywhere. My books are also a prized possession. Most people go to libraries and check out books. I buy them. Though now that I have a kindle I think that might be my new library.

Someone I miss the most is of my high school friends. She was there for a lot of my trouble making in my senior year. She also covered for me a lot. We lost touch when she got married and had a kid.

Something someone else has that I envy is money. I know someone who spends it on a whim. They buy what I think are silly things like jewelry or a bunch of clubbing clothes. Then again maybe my envy is clouding what I see. I don’t think I’d spend like that. If I did I’d probably spend it on books being the nerd I am.

I usually don’t think about what has influenced me. I guess if I had to pick something it would be X-men: The Animated Series and Dragonball Z. Weird combination I know, but I really liked the idea of superpowers. Most of my writing is usually in the fantasy genre.

A mistake people often make about me would be that they think I’ll just roll over. I keep going no matter how bad it is. I’ve had many rough patches throughout my life and those who I though closest to me actually end up stabbing me in the heart. As much as it hurts I go on and hope for the best rather than lie down and die.

Something I disagree on about the way I was raised would definitely be religion/church. My mom found a school journal entry I did about me not really believing in God. I usually don’t talk about this because many people get offended. I’d rather they just leave me alone about it. I don’t preach to people who do believe in God that they shouldn’t. Anyways, my mom decided to force me to go to church suddenly when we’d never gone before. She didn’t really teach me about God when I was little but suddenly I’m 16 and forced to go to church. I’d already made up my mind what I believed in and she was forcing it down my throat.

My favorite place would have to be the downstairs computer room at my mom’s house. It doesn’t get much use now that I don’t live there anymore and she has a laptop she uses upstairs. I’d always find myself down there on the computer when I was young. I wrote my stories on the computer and read fanfiction a lot of the time. Since the computer was so slow I’d always be on late at night while watching some corny movie on late night television and downloading music. The music would always take hours to download as it was dial-up! But it was always nice and quiet so I could think.

DeSire

Something I wrote awhile back:

I sit back in my recliner underneath the black and white fur-like blanket thinking…

I sit at the table with the band’s music throbbing through the bar and vibrating through my body. I turn to see my temptation. I watch him wrap his well muscled arms around her. They’re dancing at such a close proximity next to our table rather than the dance floor. I lick my lips in anticipation. One of my favorite songs comes on as the band goes to break. I take her hand and lead her to the dance floor. I know good and well that it would be wrong of me to take his hand. I have someone waiting for me at home in our bed. It would be wrong for me to take his hand; he’s here with her, so instead I take her hand to keep part of his attention. I entertain the idea of her in my head. I’ve been drinking…quite a bit.

I relax in the recliner and look back wondering if it was the alcohol fueling me…

This isn’t the first time this night we danced. I get braver and put my hands on her thighs just above her skirts hemline. I’m halfway tempted to place my fingers just under her hemline, but I refrain. I glace over at my other girlfriends on the dance floor and smile drunkenly at them. He’s now dancing with one of them. She turns around to face me and wraps her arms around my neck. I look at him and smile before focusing back on her. He comes over and starts dancing with us behind her. She directs her attention to him.

I stifle a yawn and realize how tired I really am. It was the sex…

I’m back sitting at our table. He’s so drunk. I didn’t work with him long, but I know he is by the way he’s acting. He took off his belt awhile ago and I stole it. I put it on over mine hidden underneath my long black tank top. He keeps unbuttoning his pants and unzipping them. There’s a few times he actually pulls his pants down in front of me revealing his navy blue spandex boxers. I laugh and yell at him to pull his pants up. I pretend to be uninterested in him, but it makes me so hot. He half whispers or rather yells over the band’s music in my ear that he’s horny. If only I were single. I tell him he should go out to her car.

I know how easy it would have been for me to just give in…

I’m sitting next to her. I turn and he’s opening his pants again. I take some ice like I’ve been doing most of the night. She catches my drift and takes her fingers and pulls the boxers open. I quickly drop the frozen cube down his pants. He jumps away. Us girls laugh.

I blow my nose; it’s from the cigarette smoke…

The night is coming to a close. Last call was announced. She is all over me. I oblige and continue to dance with her. He finally comes over and takes her. His lips crash onto hers. I’m tempted to continue to dance with her but I decide against it. It’s their time. I turn away. I’ve been attracted to him for awhile now. I’m glad I don’t work there anymore. I don’t know if I could handle the temptation and I’d be devastated if I hurt the one our bed waiting for me. Before we depart for the night, I get a number. Her number! She confesses to me that it took him a month to get it. I get it one night.

I smile to myself…

All About Me Part 3

My relationships which my family members definitely vary. Mom: My relationship with her is close but not like best friends. I do talk to her several times a week. Our relationship hasn’t really been a close one though. Dad: Things are definitely easier with my dad. At time awkward since I didn’t see him as much as mom growing up as my parents were divorced since before I can remember. However, Dad has always been there for me when I needed it most. He’s also treated me more like an adult than my mom. Grandma (Maternal): I’m really close to my grandma. I think I tell her the most of all my family members. She was basically my second mom when I was very young. Grandma would do anything for me too. She usually agrees on most things, especially when it comes to family. Step-Dad: Our relationship is what you’d call stereotypical. It’s gotten a lot better as I’m older. He offers to help with things which can often surprise me. Step-Mom: My “evil step-mother” is a friend. I known her for a very long time. She is very hard-headed though but I take after dad so it’s not hard to get along with her all!

I’m an only child. I used to have a friend that I was very close to. We liked all the same things pretty much. Unfortunately as we got older we drifted apart. Especially when I started my first job and first boyfriends. One of my high school friends I’m still close with but I think our personalities complement each other more than we have things similar.


My views on religion are believe what you want to believe just don’t push down people’s throats. I usually avoid the religion subject because it can upset a lot of people. I’m not decided on anything really. I’d probably lean towards being agnostic. There are some things that can’t be explained but then again I’m very science-oriented.

I’m not sure really what keeps me up at night worrying. Sometimes I worry for no reason. I can’t really tell if my worries are realistic or not because I can’t really pinpoint them most of the time. If I can’t pinpoint them I can’t fix them.


I don’t really have a philosophy on life. My methods for making important decisions are always trying to weigh all my options. After weighing all my options I try to think of what the outcome of each one would divulge and consequences if any. I try not to make rash decisions without thinking them through.

At this point I can’t write too much about my optimistic areas due to having a pessimistic day. I’d say the one area I’m optimistic about is the future. You never what may come but so far as far back as I can remember it’s always improved one way or another.

All About Me part 2

I’m usually happiest at my mom’s when no one is home. I’m used to the quiet from when I grew up there as I was usually the only one home especially when hunting season came around. It’s a single story house with a basement. Three bedrooms and two bathrooms are upstairs along with a spacious living room and kitchen with a sliding glass door leading out to the deck. On the deck you can overlook the backyard but more importantly sit on the bench swing and look out at the horse pasture. It’s best there in the spring before it gets too hot so the windows can be open and I can breathe in the country air and near silence.

I honestly can’t think of something I’m good at. I’d say I’m average at most everything I try.


I really don’t consider anything to be my culture. I guess I’d call it “mutt” with a mix of a few different cultures. I really don’t feel anything about it because my culture was never really embraced in my family or growing up.

Something I would change about myself…I guess I’d change my laziness. I’m definitely a couch potato and I absolutely hate cleaning. Cleaning is not my strong suit, but then again that’s why I have my boyfriend. He does all the cleaning for me. There’s definitely a way for me to change it. Force myself to get up off my butt!